Ease-in to Motherhood: Week 4 summary

Hello friends,

This last week of July has come to an end and with it comes the last weekly roundup for the #easeintomotherhood event.

It has been amazing to see so many people participate and share their stories. This week’s posts were truly inspiring and made me feel very connected to what each of us is going through. I might have extended myself while I was referring to each of the posts, but I just couldn’t hold myself back.

Below what happened over the last week-plus of July:

Jessica from always a crafty lady wrote about how we usually hope to make a handmade wardrobe that fits our needs, and when we fall pregnant or start nursing, we realize there is actually very little energy or time, if any that we can allocate to making new garments.

She found that knitting was a lot more time- and space-friendly and that  she could basically knit anywhere and everywhere she could hold needles. She found the time to knit in the moments where she breastfed, where she pumped and in the little gaps of time between activities. She knitted a whole lot of things for her and her baby.

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In a very enjoyable post, Naii wrote in Spanish about her experience of becoming a mother 10 years ago. Living in a foreign country while being pregnant and becoming a mother was very difficult. The mental struggle way surpassed the physical one. Once she discovered sewing, which also coincided with the arrival of her second child, she became obsessed with it; she sewed during naps, night time and between home tasks.

She was also an avid reader about all kinds of parenting, and slowly she became more comfortable being a mother. She became used to being a mom, to being far away from her family, to the new culture, but she felt lonely, and that’s why she started her blog and discovered with it a whole new world.

She discusses the importance of being consistent in life and giving some time to fulfil our basic needs within the daily routine.

I quote her:

– “My motherhood was almost like a sexual experience, hahaha, advice to first time moms, hahahhaa. It’s really hard, it can hurt, but with time the pleasure will come, hahahaha!!”-

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http://www.diariodenaii.com/2017/07/ease-in-to-motherhood.html

 

Jo shared her story and discussed the importance of not only finding yourself a “Thing“, but also finding Your Voice. While Jo’s “thing” is sewing for herself and writing about it to keep herself more or less sane, she also finds it fundamental to be authentic and recognize and embrace our abilities.

In her own words:

– “Nobody else can parent your kids the way you do (and that’s a good thing!); no-one else can speak to your experience.  The only stories we can tell are our own; and we are the only ones who can tell them”.-

kids2bcollage1

 

Hilos y mas posted in Spanish about her pretty cool and colorful bikini. She also talked about her struggle with diastasis recti, a very common issue that often comes with pregnancy.

She had a very hard time to get it diagnosed and because it had been so long since she first got it, she now requires surgery to recover. She discusses the physical effects  having this condition can have on the body. In her words:

– “The organs and viscera are unprotected because they are not covered by the abdominals, with the consequent danger of hernia. Diastasis recti is related to digestive, postural and back problems”.-

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Her post was very interesting to me, because even though I had heard that diastasis recti was pregnancy related, I now know that it can happen to anyone. In fact, Emilia (my 15 month old baby) has it since she was born and a little hernia has been developing in her abdomen. The doctors haven’t done much about it, but now I think I should take her to physiotherapy… It can’t hurt!

 

Later this last week, Erin shared how she has taken up boxing as a means to recover from postpartum anxiety and depression, and feel more grounded in her body. She decided to take up boxing to feel more physically active. She treated herself to a pretty awesome self-made workout wordrobe

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https://seamstresserin.com/workout-clothes-boxing/

To add some diversity to the mix, I thought that inviting a father to share his ease-in to fatherhood experience could be fun and interesting, so I decided to ask David (my husband) if he would like to share his.

He shared his experience on becoming a father and the job each one of us took over when Emilia was born, and although he viewed his part was somewhat stressful, he gradually got used to parenthood. Although he had anticipated that going back to work would be added stress, he luckily found it easier and brought balance to his life and found renewed empathy for baby and mom. In his words:

– “One turning point I haven’t looked back from, was Emilia’s first real smile. Since then I’ve been fascinated with this tiny person who’s becoming a person right in front of our eyes. She’s 14 months now, and only keeps getting more fun to be with. Maybe the party won’t last forever – she has a taste for testing boundaries already, and the ‘terrible twos’ are up ahead – but I feel like we’ve already been repaid for the testing first couple of months many times over. We have an incredible family”. –

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David and Emilia

 

 

Clio shared a very, very smart, complete, interesting and well written post about the struggle of social labels, expectations and stereotypes and the loss of identity as a result of motherhood.

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She discusses society’s expectations about what happens when we become pregnant, how long before it is socially acceptable to spread the news, judgements about who wanted a baby, who works and the different roles each of the partners assume.

What is the socially accepted time to go back to work? Is it okay to feel ready soon after we give birth? Is it better to wait? For how long?  What happens when we ask for help when it comes to taking care of children? What are supposed to be the needs of the baby at a specific age? Don’t all babies have their own clock and style? Aren’t they already individuals? Should we give up all that made us feel like ourselves? What are the real consequences of that?

They say it takes a village to bring up a child, and I (Monserratt) totally agree. Amongst the many ways this later statement takes meaning, one is that it is important for us mothers to find a group, activity or space that helps us feel understood, supported and on the right track. It’s important for us to feel confident about what we do and how we do it.  It is important to feel like ourselves, to rediscover ourselves. There really is no need to conform to ideas about what we should be like or how we should do things.

Clio’s advice:

– “The best advice I can give about getting thru early childhood with a partner is to forget about keeping score of who is working harder, doing more or getting less sleep, and instead focus on sharing what little free time there is as equally as possible. That is really what fights about who is doing what and whose life is harder are about – the stress caused by lack of free time to pursue an interest, exercise, see friends or just be quiet. Making sure we both get what we need in terms of caring for ourselves enables us to be whole people for our kids”. –

 

 

Finally, by the end of the week, I shared my struggle to feel confident wearing store-bought maternity and nursing clothes that are useful, but not always as comfortable as self-made garments.

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That’s all for now, we’ll soon be sharing the final event post. I hope you have enjoyed the journey with us so far.

Thank you all for sharing and commenting!

 

M

 

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5 Comments Add yours

  1. hilosymas says:

    Thank you so much for including me in your summary. I feel overwhelmed with all the support and kindness that I received, and reading about your daughter disease made me cry. We have to struggle to find more comprehension and I really hope that in a future this will be recognised and treated.
    Give her my love and thank you again.
    Best regards,
    Vanessa

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Gracias a ti Vanessa, por compartir tu experiencia.
      Monserratt

      Like

  2. Diariodenaii says:

    Gracias por compartir mi historia y de las demás! Son historias tan diversas e interesantes que merecen ser leídas, esta fue una propuesta genial . Un saludo desde España!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Gracias a ti Naii! Fue realmente bonito compartir nuestras historias! 😊

      Like

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